I’ve got a jones for trash-food, always have. Tuna Helper? Affirmative. Chef Boyardee? Mais oui. I’ve never even been to The Cheesecake Factory, but I oft read their menu in bed as a nightcap.

Unfortunately I have shtetl DNA, which doesn’t waif with age. So I forsake my beloved Little Debbie Creme Pies and Red Vines for a diet of macrobiotic(ish) fare. Ever tried Shirataki noodles? I’ve got Deep Chocolate Vita Tops arriving weekly by mail. In bulk.

Which brings me to the Duggars. Not only do Jim Bob and Michelle have 19 children, and dress them in enough matching modestywear to inspire cult fetish poetry for weeks, but they also have a trash-food recipe page that would knock your Aunt Ida’s socks off.

Greatest hits include: Hash Brown Casserole, Tater Tot Casserole (Jim Bob’s favorite!), Taco Soup and laundry detergent.

My personal favorite is a layered “Salad” that somehow manages to incorporate two cups of mayonaise, a container of sour cream and a 1/2 pound of turkey bacon.

Sadly, word on the street is that Michelle Duggar is a lifetime member of Weight Watchers, so it might be the boys who are mainlining all that Velveeta. But a girl can dream, can’t she?

1 Comment. Filed under Cult Fetish, Food Issues
Published on January 21, 2010